Went with the ladies down to Chinatown to see in the Year of the Rat. We ordered oysters and avoided snail porridge in a cafe with gen-u-eyn Chinese folk slurping noodles from big bowls. Lady Bling who also doubles as Fit Laura and Golden Swallow Feng Shui Expert in her spare time informed us it was not officially New Year but the New Moon festival. What-EVA as Fit Mel aka Lady Bonde might say.

All I know is I’m glad to see the back of Year of the Pig, which lived up to its name in more ways than one (got made redundant, had miscarriage, gave up bacon bites and beer). Still, if I think I had it bad then check out poor old Britney’s horoscope:

“After losing the custody of her children in October 2007, Britney Spears has totally lost her mind. Many people concern about her future. We are asked to study her Chinese Horoscope. The birth time is provided by her fan.”

So you see, it’s official. 2007 was NO GOOD. The Chinese are nothing if not thorough when it comes to divination – this truly informative website also includes Britney’s life-long bad luck chart. Lovely.

BIRTH CHART FOR BRITNEY SPEARS

Birth Date: 12/02/1981 (December. 2, 1981)
Birth Time: 1:30 AM CST
Birth Place: Mahon, MS

You’ll note the 20-year peak commencing in 2043: so, if you think losing your kids and your mind is about as bad as it gets, think again. It’s going to get worse. Much worse. Although for a one-time teen star turned celebrity carcrash what could be worse than being down to just the one fan?